


you're with me (but you're gone)

by Nightblaze



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Post 1x10, i call this one "time to be overly ambiguous about the end of 1x10", shelby-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightblaze/pseuds/Nightblaze
Summary: when toni gets hurt, shelby can't help but draw parallels.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 17
Kudos: 366





	you're with me (but you're gone)

**Author's Note:**

> this was a prompt for anonymous... honestly i kind of ran away from the prompt a little bit cause this got a lot more shelby character study than shoni but i hope you still like it!
> 
> tw for becca's suicide attempt and and a brief and vague description of injuries

It had been too calm since the shark attack.

The island was never quiet—the crashing of the waves, the rustle of leaves, and the chittering of animals were constant—but ever since the attack, it felt like it was. The girls rarely talked just to talk. They did their tasks and kept surviving with heavy hearts.

So of course something had to go wrong again.

Shelby and Toni were collecting firewood in a companionable silence when it happened. Shelby looked away for just a moment, but turned back fast enough to give herself whiplash when she heard a sharp _crack_ and Toni’s shout.

“Shit, shit shit shit shit,” Shelby breathed as she dropped her bundle of wood and took off down the hill after Toni. Her body looked even smaller than usual, crumpled up in a heap. Shelby dropped to her knees to cradle her and screamed as loud as she could.

* * *

_“Hey, Becs!” Shelby knocked on the door to Becca’s room. “Your mom let me in.”_

_There wasn’t an answer._

_Weird._

_“Becs?”_

_Shelby knocked again. Tried the handle. Locked._

_“Becca?”_

_Locked. Locked. Locked. This wasn’t normal._

_Shelby rammed her shoulder into the door. Again. Again. Shit, that hurt. Once more and the door slammed open._

_Becca was unconscious on the floor, an empty pill bottle resting in her hand._

_The cry Shelby let out echoed in her mind for the minutes that felt like eternities she spent holding Becca until the sirens replaced it._

* * *

It all blurred together. Shelby remembered screaming herself hoarse, sobbing over Toni’s shallow breaths. Somebody came to help Shelby carry her back to the camp, but the voices sounded far away and the faces were unclear.

Dot—it was probably her, at least—said Toni would be okay. That she would be in pain but nothing was broken and her head hadn’t taken too much blunt force.

It was hard to believe her as Shelby looked over Toni’s scraped up body, blue-black bruises already blooming. She was so still. Just unconscious, Shelby knew, but it didn’t feel like it. Toni was always so animated. If she wasn’t up and about, she was digging in the sand, or stacking rocks for no reason. Something.

Right now there was nothing.

* * *

_Becca loved to dance. It wasn’t like she took any dancing classes, but when there was music playing, she moved along to the beat. Even in the silence she always seemed to find something._

_It wasn’t like that now._

_The constant hum of hospital air conditioning was the only sound and Becca wasn’t moving. She was breathing, deeply and slowly, like she was just asleep. Shelby wanted to pretend that she was. Pretend that she was okay._

_Shelby must’ve sat there for an hour, just watching and waiting. When Becca started to wake up, she shot to her feet like a missle._

_“Shelby?”_

_“Yes, it’s me,” Shelby whispered, choking back tears as she rushed to take Becca’s hand. She wasn’t expecting her to start crying, too._

_“I’m sorry,” Becca sniffled. “I’m so sorry.”_

_“It’s okay,” Shelby assured her as she clutched her hand tighter. “You’re okay.”_

* * *

“What are you thinking about?”

Shelby tore her eyes away from Toni’s hand in hers to look at her. She squeezed her hand gently.

“Just a little worried about you,” Shelby answered.

Toni gave her a half-smile. “I’m going to be fine.”

“I know.” Shelby pursed her lips. “You really didn’t look like it before. It was bad, Toni.” 

“Hey.” Toni let go of her hand to brush the hair out of Shelby’s face. “But look at me now, yeah? I’m okay.”

Shelby leaned into Toni’s touch and didn’t notice that she had started to cry until Toni wiped a tear away with her thumb. “Ugh, look at me crying when you’re the one all banged up,” she tried to joke while sniffling. It only made her start to cry harder. Toni took her hand again, rubbing her thumb along her knuckles. “Lord, I just—I don’t want to lose you.”

“You aren’t going to lose me.”

“What if I do?”

* * *

_Becca was gone._

_Shelby’s parents didn’t want her to go to her funeral. She had to sneak out to go to her best friend’s funeral._

_Best friend. As if she could still call her that._

_Not that it mattered anymore._

_She was gone._

* * *

“But I’m here _now._ I’m right here, Shelby.”


End file.
